Wednesday, March 13, 2013


I have utterly failed this daily blogging challenge. I failed to even post an update as I promised in my last post (pediatric cardiologist visit successful, clear EKG or EEG ~ still can't keep straight which ~ and my son's chest pain resolved with consistent dosing of ibuprofen, so I am feeling slightly better, yet still dissatisfied with how vague all of this medical stuff feels to the layperson/average mom/expert worrier). How does anyone post daily? I work full time; my office is two miles from home, and the employers are fairly flexible with family obligations....but I do have this full-time job. Then there is the parenting thing. And the community thing (home late tonight from a Board of Education meeting). And the wife thing and the woman thing. Too many things (and not the fun kind like Thing 1 and Thing 2 from Dr. Seuss days... ) And then there is March. My least favorite month of the year. You see, today is technically March 13, since I am up past midnight (damn that lost hour anyway, ) March 13 is the date on which I last spoke to my mother (it was a Friday the 13th, but I am not superstitious about the day since my husband was born on a Friday the 13th, and accordingly, our family considers it good luck). She died on March 14, 1992. The loss is never-ending and always-changing. And now, since my father died on October 31, 2012, I am an orphan. I am still processing that, and might be for the rest of my life. In the meantime, I have two children of my own to parent and guide through life. (There's a risk for you!) No one tells you that parenting is a risk. But I suppose simply being alive is a risk. After all, a quick definition of "risk" is "the possibility that something unpleasant or dangerous might happen," and doesn't that define life? love? I am thinking of all the cliches involving risk, thinking about the strategy board game of that name, realizing what a fabulous topic RISK is, and how these NaBloPoMo people really know what they're doing. Now if I could only hold up my end of the bargain!

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