1. Why is the phrase "salad days" about good times? Salad sucks.
2. When will the depressing recycling of the '80s stop making me feel so old? Neon is on trend, and I am wishing I had saved some of my stuff to share with my 7-year-old daughter. Lord knows I save a lot of things, and none of the other 25+ year old crap I have in my closets is of any use.
And how do today's music stars know anything about the '80s, anyway? Who writes their stuff? Bowling for Soup and "1985," Keri Hilson and "Pretty Girl Rock" (although I don't know if Keri's lyrics intentionally reference two late-'80s ad campaigns (she was only born in 1982 I think), but how can it be that much of a coincidence that she says her name is Keri and she's so very (hello, Keri lotion ad) and then implores the listener not to hate her because she's beautiful (Pantene)
3. Does G-d text? Maybe soon, if the iPhone app for confession is any indication http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/confession-app-roman-catholic-church-sanctions-iphone-app/story?id=12866499
Guess I really need to update my ancient flip phone so I can finally learn to text and navigate the world of apps, especially if we cave to my 10-year-old's renewed pleas for a phone of his own (the double-digit birthday battle for an iPod Touch, which he won for G-d's sake!, apparently has no benefit to us in delaying his supposed need for a phone now). Not that we're Roman Catholic and need the confession app, but perhaps I could inform my 10-going-on-19-year-old that he really shouldn't ride in the front seat, and for that matter, should get his ass back in a booster! http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/child-safety-seat-recommendations-revamped/story?id=13168522&page=1
4. Are people really complaining about rain on the first full day of spring? Are memories that short? The tragedy in Japan happened less than two weeks ago. Maybe our flooded neighbors in Jersey have some justification to lament rainfall, but perspective is really in order, people.
5. March Madness. Why is March such a crazy freakin month anyway? Named for the Roman God of War, known for schizo weather and home to the Ides of March, this month is mostly associated with loss for me (virginity, my mother ... just going chronologically, not necessarily in order of importance)
Now, I have the weird conflict between March 17 as the anniversary of my mother's funeral and the recently-learned fact that my birth mother was/is Irish, and the 17th, of course, is St. Patrick's Day. Somber or celebratory? Only I could have issues with a day uniformly regarded as a happy excuse to party! Either way, I guess I'm good to go for a drink!